because life isn't just black and white

"i learned that very often the most intolerant and narrow-minded people are the ones who congratulate themselves on their tolerance and open-mindedness." -- christopher hitchens.

there are two kinds of people that really upset the hell out of me (and i don't get upset quite easily. i am a tough nut to crack, i warn you!) : people with a holier than thou attitude, and those who have zero tolerance for diversity. these are people who want to impose their religious beliefs, tastes, even morality on others. these are people who will even go to the extent of quoting the bible just to convince you that they're, well, the disciples of all that is good, saintly, and beautiful, while you are the evil incarnate, so you have to follow what they are preaching or risk frying in hell for all of eternity.

it's all well and good if you are as clean and as saintly as, say, mother theresa who led by example and lived her life serving, feeding, and nurturing the poor.

but if you were just a common sinner like myself, then why bother?

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recently, there is too much fuss about a book that's been made into a movie that deals with s & m (slave and master for the uninitiated) and so much sex, if what i have read about it were all true. the book became an easy target for condemnation especially from people who think that indulging in such things are bad, and will destroy one's soul. maybe, or maybe not, who knows?

what i found disgusting (i know, it's a very soft word) is that most of those who condemned the book admitted that they have not even read it. and most of those who condemned the movie said they had no plans of ever watching it. i know, i know, you don't have to read or see something to know that it is trash, or bad, or worse, unfit for human consumption.

but for the sake of credibility, and to strengthen your arguments against it, then please read the book or watch the movie first before you deplore it. for the sake of fairness.

as for myself, it's no longer my thing, that is why i did not bother to read it. (i might watch the movie because the lead actor is hot!)

i did not even bother to read the reviews of both book and movie simply because i am not interested (well except for jamie dornan who is sizzling as the afternoon sun). i am not being snobbish here, ha. i simply had enough of erotic books that i had read during high school: harold robbins, anne rampling (also known as anne rice), and anonymous (the romance of lust series). see, i had read them all and there was no way they ever influenced my views about love, lust, and sex.

also, why read when you can have it in real life? hahaha

seriously now: as (normal) adults, we are old enough to decide on our own if something is good or bad. we are mature enough to know the difference between love, lust, and sex. there's simply no way that a book or a movie, no matter how powerful they are, can change that. unless, you are a pervert to begin with, then there lies the problem. within yourself, not the book, or the movie.

lest we forget, it's just a book or a movie. kids did not suck each other's blood after enjoying twilight right? nor did they turn to witchcraft after reading and watching harry fatter, i mean, potter and his friends battle the evil that is voldermort.

that is why censorship has become so powerful because of these people who believe that there are a few of us who are not mature enough, or educated, or strong enough, to think and decide for ourselves something as basic as what is good or bad.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

one social media cretin went even as far as comparing the book to the bible. really?! i am not even going to dignify that very silly post!

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isn't it ironic that because of all the rants of those who have prejudged the movie, it is now a big box office hit worldwide. clearly, there is nothing like controversy and sex to whet the appetite of the moviegoers.

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speaking of censorship, i was appalled when i read (these days, that's all i do. read. chos!) that the country's biggest clothing and underwear brand had to censor its own billboard advertisement showing two men (quite young and very good looking at that!!) holding hands by covering their clasp hands with black paint! are we in the dark ages?

what now, self censorship is the new name of the game? i am not totally against self censorship, mind you, if you are being vulgar, immortal, or promoting something that's bad openly! (by the way, being vulgar, immoral, and bad are all subjective. so what maybe bad for you, may not be bad for me. that's why censorship is such a nonsense!)

but censoring a photo showing two people in love who are just holding hands? just because they are both men? what's wrong with that?

after all the hullaballoo over the billboard, the company said it does not want to displease the "governing body" who has the power to approve or reject such billboards. it further said that the body earlier rejected a version of the billboard that depicted the gay couple "looking loving at one another", citing "traditional filipino values." (for the full article, please read here: http://www.rappler.com/entertainment/news/84102-bench-statement-billboard-love-campaign)

what happened to tolerance? to love? to respecting each other's lifestyles?

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when i was at a young age, my parents taught me that life is not black and white. and that there are as many kinds of people in the planet as there are stars in the sky on a balmy, romantic summer night. they told me to be tolerant of others, to be respectful of their views, beliefs, feelings, etc.  and i totally agree.

no, i am not disrespecting others who condemned the book, the movie, or even compared it with the bible. i am not trying to belittle the views of those who are afraid that showing two gay men holding hands through a huge billboard on the country's main highway might be against "traditional filipino values" (what ever that means!!!).

what i am trying to say is this: while i respect your views, beliefs, or even your morality, it does not mean that you are right. (no, i will not defend your right to say or express them. hahaha). that you should impose them on others who believe otherwise.

big words, i know.

but such is life. it's not black and white. there are other shades to it if you are not color blind, or if you don't choose to be blind. the rainbow is such a beauty, if you know what i mean.

enough of bigotry!

(ps: the photo of a rainbow above is not mine. it's taken from the internet. no copyright infringement intended. please inform the blogger if you want it removed from this post. thank you very much.)

love isn't everything; but then it never will be

"i don't want to inherit your past mistakes. you can't expect me to correct them for you.."

rome shouted at the other end of the phone. i could picture him actually; his pale, ghastly excuse for a face all red; his spiky short hair all standing up as if on a gun salute; his small mouth stretched into a wide, big o as though he was gasping for help. not a handsome sight. not the man i fell in love with three years ago.

it was a cold day in december. there was a bit of a sun when i woke up at around eight this morning, but now it was all gone. hidden by this thick, grey cloud. i was shivering. i was wearing a flimsy striped cardigan that i bought at a bargain at one of lane crawford's outlet shops in ap lei chau. underneath the cardigan was a black ralph lauren v-neck shirt.

i was looking forward to a bright sunny day before the winter sets in. i was wrong.

already late for my appointment, i was rushing to the mtr station when the mobile phone on my jean pocket started giving off these ticklish vibrations. someone was calling me.

i ignored it. but once seated at the train, i checked who called. it was rome. i sent him a message.

"sori 2 mis ur col. hurryng 2 wrk. col u l8r."

luckily,  the meeting has not started yet when i arrived at the office.

it was a breeze. the clients were actually happy with our proposed ad campaign for a shampoo commercial that would star taka kazuro, the hottest japanese-chinese actor to ever hit the canto universe in years. i actually conceptualized the concept -- lovelorn, brooding taka was cleaning up his apartment of  his ex-girlfriend's things when he saw her shampoo in the bathroom. flashback to their happy times while taking a shower together. when he would comb her long, shiny black hair. missing her so much, he decided to take  a shower and used the shampoo. then as he was drying his hair, the phone rang. it was her. asking for forgiveness. freeze to taka's smiling, happy, newly shampood hair. end.

*******

while having coffee after lunch, rome called again. he was in tokyo. rome wanted to know if jigs would still push through with his earlier plan to bring one of his dogs to tokyo when he moved there. rome was not too keen on the idea. he hated dogs. or any pet at all. he doesn't want any pet messing up his perfectly decorated, always shiny apartment. he hate the smell of dogs, specially jigs's dog.

jigs wasn't entirely sure if rome was against the idea of him bringing the dog -- cara -- to tokyo or if rome actually resented cara because it used to belong to jigs' former boyfriend, francis, who died in a car accident three years before they met.

"but i can't just leave cara behind. she has been part of me. i love her like my own baby," was all jigs could say to rome. he was nearly in tears. he had never heard him say such mean things to him before. nor did he ever raised his voice -- whether on the phone, over skype or face to face. even his emails were polite. all small letters. always. no caps.

they have been talking about it for months now. what to do with cara.

jigs simply didn't have the heart to leave the poor dog behind. in a shelter.

"well, if you can't give up cara, it simply means that you love her more than me. that you wanted to keep her because she reminded you of francis," rome continued his attack.

cold blooded ice queen.

mean.

heartless.

witch.

bitch.

jigs wanted to shout all these things to rome. over the phone.

but he chose to keep quiet.

he simply turned the phone off. then threw it away on the trash bin.

sometimes silence is the best form of retaliation.

********

he has been with cara longer than rome.

and he knew that cara has learned to love rome.

but why can't rome do the same?

if he really loved him, then rome would also love the things (pets included) that he luved.

wasn't love merciful and benevolent?

that night, jigs put away rome's clothes (there were but a few), shoes and other things that he left behind in his apartment.

they have been on a long-distance relationship for the last three years.

they would visit each other at least once in three months.

when he was in tokyo, jigs would stay at rome's apartment.

but when rome was in hong kong, he would stay in a hotel.

he said he was not comfortable staying at jigs's flat not only because it was tiny, old and there was no elevator, he also did not want to be in the same room as cara.

"that dog smells like a dead rotten fish!" rome complained the first time he met her.

in fact, cara smelled like the fruity shampoo he used to bathe her.

after he put away rome's things, jigs held cara close and they slept together in the bed he used to share 

with francis.

happy with the thought that whatever happens, they will still be together.

*******

in the next few days, i received a lot of email messages from rome.

i ignored them all.

after i survived francis's death and a series of unfortunate, short love affairs that followed, i think i could handle anything, cruel, insensitive young men included. even if he happened to be the famous actor taka, who wanted to be known simply as rome.

that same day,  i sent an email message to the ad executives at the shampoo company, telling them that i am no longer interested in the taka account.

i said: "i am sorry but i learned from a very reliable source that mr. taka hates pets, including dogs. i 

could not work with someone who hates dogs or any other pet."

i should have added: taka is the worst animal of them all.

but i did not.

in the end: love isn't everything; never enough. but then, it will never be.

*******